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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095972">A Year Together With You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakambombie/pseuds/sakambombie'>sakambombie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:55:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakambombie/pseuds/sakambombie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Was it destiny or was it fate? They couldn't care more. All they knew was that they met. Shimizu and Sugawara agreed on to take a very risky adventure in their life. Funny how it really turned out better than they thought. But will this last forever?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shimizu Kiyoko/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. January 7 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Its mainly written in Shimizu's diary so uhhh... yeah AHAHAHHA</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [2:20 am]</p>
<p>I'm writing because its 2 in the morning and I still can't sleep. Today, I mean yesterday, I went to the mall to buy books. I even brought a travel bag with me. I'm planning to read tons of books that day. But then I ended up just reading half of it. A weird but cute-looking stranger came to me today. I was under the tree, my favorite spot in the park when he approached me. I was unconsciously staring at the happy family from afar- passing paper plates to each other as they laughed. But then this boy met my gaze and I immediately looked away. A few seconds more, my gaze went back to him. He suddenly ran towards my spot, carrying two plates on both of his hands. He was smiling as widely as he can, his little mole by his eyes making him cuter than he already was. I pretended to not notice him so I sat comfortably at my spot, reading the last paragraph on the book I'm reading. He seemed to have said something but I didn't hear him so he waved his hand to my face instead. I removed my earphones and stared at him. He's cuter up close. "Are you hungry?" he asked then. He lifted up the two plates. One contained two slices of chocolate cake and a piece of chicken. The other plate contained spaghetti and hotdogs. I was about to deny his offer when my stomach grumbled. I kind of forgot to buy food on the way. "Here," he'd said and sat beside me. It was so sudden that I became stiff at the moment. He took a spoonful of cake and made me open my mouth. Funny 'cause I immediately opened my mouth for him. He shoved in the cake in my mouth and damn did it taste good. "What are you listening to?" Though I haven't given him the permission to take the other bud yet, he took it anyway and listened to the classic music I was listening to. "That's a nice book you got there." By then he was now waiting for my response. I realized I haven't talked at all. "Oh, uhm... Its a work of Mia Thermopolis with the help of Meg Gabot," I replied. "What's it about?" he asked again. I couldn't answer then. It wasn't the type of book you'd tell so much about in public. I think he saw the label at the back of the book because he suddenly laughed. "Shouldn't you be reading those kind of books at home? Doesn't it make you awkward?" I shook my head.  "Finnula and Hugo has something so beautiful that I'd read it over and over again." He just smiled. This is actually the fourth time I'm reading this book. Its just so beautiful. "Well it isn't all about those kind of stuff you know? Their love story was written so beautifully that I don't really mind reading the bed scene part at all." He just laughed again. </p>
<p>I ate the food bit by bit and I was done in no time. He took a book from my bag and we ended up reading side by side under my favorite spot. After finishing another book, I realized it was getting dark and he was still beside me. So I asked him, "Aren't you going home yet?" He just shook his head and said, "My parents allowed me to stay with you until you get home. Its quite dangerous for a lady to stay outside till dark alone you know?" Then he went back on reading the last pages of his book. After another 10 minutes of sitting, we fixed my books and placed it in the bag and off we went to my home. Well he said he'll accompany me home just to make sure I get home safe. </p>
<p>On the way home, he suddenly asked me, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I stopped walking then, knowing how this one will go but I'll just go with the flow anyway. He stopped walking to and so I faced him. "You don't have one too, do you? Girlfriend I mean. Not a boyfriend," I told him. His eyes were wider than mine when I asked him the question. He shook his head a little. "What's the catch then? Are you going to ask me to be your first ever girlfriend?" His head hung low in embarrassment and then he nodded. "Well that's nice." I didn't even agree on anything yet but his face lit up a little when he looked at me. "Is that a yes?" I stared at him for a while, trying to read his face. I just nodded my head and showed him a faint smile. </p>
<p>He then started jumping around, his arms up in the sky like a kid. "Don't get too excited. You're just having a trial." He stopped jumping then and his smile turned into a frown. "What?" he asked. "You still have to court me, you know? I just wanted to know how you're reaction would be when I'll say yes." His mouth formed an o but no sound came out of it. We continued on walking towards home. By the time we reached my house, I faced him again and said, "See you tomorrow?" He scratched the back of his neck. "Y-yeah." </p>
<p>You're my schoolmate you dummy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. February 14 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>a little date on valentines. Poor Suga had to close his eyes on the movie.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [10:23 p.m.]</p><p>Sugawara asked me to go on a date today. Well of course I had to dress properly.</p><p>A month has passed since we met -- since I agreed on being his girlfriend. This day was our first ever proper date. He kinda said - kinda - lunch dates at school doesn't really count. his definition of date was, "NO DAICHI, NO ASAHI, NO NOYA, NO RYU, NO EVERYONE." Well that's what he said. And by everyone, he meant his whole team. His reasons were either they're jealous or they're just annoyingly supportive. I don't really mind though. They're friends after all. Friends are always there for each other. Well yeah, I'm a kind of a friend too. A VERY DIFFERENT KIND!!! That's why we're going to a date today.</p><p>I wore a dirty white sunday dress with little paw prints on it. Its length was just about a centimeter above the knee.The sleeves were up to my wrists and it had cute little ruffles at the end. It had three buttons to cover my exposed chest. Well it is a sunday dress after all - the proper dress. I wore my pale pink shoes - no whatsoever on it. Just plain pale pink doll shoes. A small sling bag hung on my shoulder where my belongings would be placed; where the tickets to the cinema was hidden. </p><p>We both really couldn't choose where to go on our first PROPER date, so we ended up searching on the internet and the first that came up was a cinema. Typical. Watching Death Bell was Suga's idea. Did I have fun watching it? Well, no. Suga kept his eyes and ears closed and was screaming and jumping at jump scares from time to time (note: that time to time was every two minutes). I had to apologize to the other viewers from time to time as well. Its a good thing that there were only a few of us in the cinema. But I guess he enjoyed my hugs and cuddles. At least he got the fun.</p><p>We went to an arcade next, which I enjoyed the most. I scored the most points in basketball, racing, gun fights and that thing where you hit the buzzer and let the ball fall down on the mega jackpot. I even got three plushies at the crane machine. We played a lot more stuffs and ended up getting too much tickets. (note: the quarters were stolen from Ryu and Noya by Suga). </p><p>Suga carried the big human-sized bear on his back while I carried the other three. We went to eat ramen and barbecue at a nearby shop. After spending an hour at the shop, we went to sit at our usual tree. We spent three more hours laughing about stuff. But then it got awkward when I blurted out about 'starting to like him'. I never really thought of it, but guys are actually cute when they get flustered. That guy - boy in front of me was blushing like crazy and was hiding his face from embarrassment. And so I couldn't help but hold his hand and move it away from his face so I could kiss his now warm cheeks. Well, I actually did. He suddenly stood up, didn't face me and said,"L-let's get you home." He stuttered. He walked ahead of me as I stood up and brushed the dust off my skirt. At least he got a lot cuter because of the kiss. It wasn't actual kiss. It was just a peck on his cheek. </p><p>He was silent on the way. He never even said a word when we reached my house. He waved his hand goodbye, his back facing me. I just watched him walk away till his figure disapperead.</p><p>Today was fun. So much fun! I hope we'd have more days like this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Death Bell is a horror film in 2008 directed by Chang, Nayato Fio Nuala<br/>The cinema that they went to was a 'choose-your-own-movie' type of cinema KSJSKJS I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT ITS LIKE THAT ACK KSJSKJS .... we have it here in our city so I just thought of it since I don;t know any horror movies showing up on cinemas at the moment KJSKSJ</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. March 27 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>graduation day:&gt;&gt;</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [11:11]</p><p>Graduation day. All seniors were crying while saying their farewells to their juniors - that's us, the seniors. We'll be missing those kids a lot. All their naughtiness and bickers will be really missed by all of us. Its kinda sad, having to leave them when they've still so much to learn. And so pictures were taken, bouquets were given and hats were thrown. Another chapter in our life is yet again, successfully done. All those hard work and effort were worth it.</p><p>Koushi, Daichi, Asahi and I spent the rest of the day, roaming around the campus. Funny, awkward, memorable moments were told; the pain in studies were laughed at; favorite spots were laughed at too. It holds too much memories, it made us cry. Although the boys spent more time together, I still felt the closeness, the bond between them that I thought I was part of it. </p><p>The sky was a beautiful ombre of orange and red when we sat at the rooftop, talking about how fast time has fled for us. I brought food especially for us cuz I knew this would happen. We spent another two hours together, reminiscing about the past - the days when we were nervous about being freshmen. Now that we've graduated from highschool, we are yet to become nervous on being freshmen at college. The topic made Suga suddenly sad. I couldn't ask him then since the other were there and I don't think they noticed it. So I waited till we went home.</p><p>Stars were starting to show when we all parted our ways, except for Suga and I since I insisted on him taking me home. I asked him why then, why did he frown when the college thing was mentioned. All he answered was, "It means that you'll be farther away than you ever were. I know we both want different universities. Its just that, I'll be missing you a lot."<br/>
Itt made me chuckle. How much cuter can this guy be? His face was puzzled so I said, "You don't have to miss me too much. we can still see each other." I kissed him on his nose then. (He's still not used to my kisses)</p><p>Once I closed the door of my room, I sat down, my back leaning against the door, hugged my knees close to my chest and started crying.</p><p>I wish it was just that Koushi. I just wish it was just that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i may have done an alternative chap for this.. you know the things that would've happened (in my imagination) when the seniors graduated in karasuno:&gt;&gt;</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. April 2 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>april fools day... a day for fools?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [2:13 am]</p><p>April fool's day. A day for fools? Yes, I mean them. The whole team agreed to meet today since it was their favorite day. Bunch of pranks have been made, corny jokes have been told and so on and so forth. Funny cause they met with the other teams as well. Practice matches were done for the sake of their satisfaction. Of course pranks were still done. Somebody put a lot of chili sauce in Oikawa's drink. He ran and ran around the court to find some decent bottle of water to drink from but nobody was kind enough to share their water. A flying cockraoch was found in Tanaka's shoe. As it flew above their heads, they yelled out for help and tried slapping it with their towels. Noya, as the bravest one in the group, tried to catch the cockroach but in landed on his nose. He ended up screaming while running around as well. </p><p>Hinata and Kageyama volunteered to wipe Tsukishima's face for him so his face was covered in charcoal. Kenma's gadgets were hidden by Kuroo and Bokuto saying he deserves it. Im not sure if I heard it right, but I think I heard OIkawa telling the others too ignore Kageyama. Hinata didn't spike his tosses on purpose then. Kageyama suddenly threw a tantrum that Iwaizumi and the other captains had to give Oikawa a time out. </p><p>Kids.</p><p>Suga tricked me too - but failed.</p><p>He was planning on ignoring me too but failed after five minutes. Maybe because I was having a funny conversation with Daichi. (We were talking about Suga's funny moments. Uhm... Yeah moments) Or was it because I was ignoring him too? Yeah maybe that. Well, he's not the only one who can tease. So I ended up ignoring him instead. </p><p>I had fun with the others though. I watched Kageyama and Hinata practice their quick attacks; Kuroo was busy bothering Kenma since he found where his gadgets were hidden. I watched Asahi and Noya practice their tosses and spikes together with Daichi and Ryu. I had to protect their new manager, Yachi, from getting hit by stray balls. While I was busy helping Yachi record the scores of the sets of the teams, Suga poked and poked my side to get my attention. He'd show off when he was on the court but I just showed him a straight face. It was like that for the rest of the day. It only stopped when it was time to go home. </p><p>As usual, Suga accompanied me home. He did most of the talking on the way home since I was still ignoring him. He kept on saying,, "Its not funny anymore Kiyoko-san. Just stop it already." He whined and whined like a baby. "Not fair!" He finally gave up when were just a few more steps to my house. He crossed his arms on his chest and pouted. I faced him once we were by the gate. </p><p>"Don't talk to me. I'm ignoring you too," he said, his face facing the other way. I let out a loud sigh so he could face me. "What?" he asked, his tone worried. I looked at the time and said, "Just one more minute." His brows furrowed in confusion. "10 more seconds." By the time the second hand hit 12, I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. "I like you Suga, for real now." His mouth hung open, not knowing what the hell was happening. "I couldn't tell you on April fool's day so I had to wait till it was the April second." He frowned at my words. </p><p>"Was that the reason why you were ignoring me today?" I just shook my head. "It was another trial Suga. You won't know things would happen once its already done." I was on my tippy toes then so I could kiss him on the forehead. (As usual he blushed again). "See you some time," I told him then. After waving each other goodbye, I ran to my room and began crying again.</p><p>I shouldn't have said that. It'll only hurt more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. May 13 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>beach? bitch? beach. bitch?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [11:27]</p><p>Summer. Suga and I decided to on a beach today. I left a note by the kitchen saying I was at a friend's house so they wouldn't worry too much when they get home early. (They didn't lol!) I packed up lots of foods for us to eat. Suga was to bring the blankets, towels and umbrellas. I even brought sunscreen for him to use. I don't know why but I don't really get tanned easily. I put on my most decent pair of swimsuit. It had to be decent. I don't want too much guys staring at me. I wore a baby pink swimsuit, with raffles on top and a mini skirrt at the bottom. It was a two-piece swimsuit. One piece swimsuits don't really fit me. (I don't really have a size lol.) I wore a dress on the way to meet him of course. I wore my favorite sandals too. </p><p>When I met Suga, he was wearing a loose button up Hawaiian shirt. Its color was turquoise. He was also wearing beige knee high shorts, sandals and for the finishing look, a beach hat and sunglasses. Well ain't he a bit too extra. .</p><p>I wasn't surprised when I saw him shirtless. I always see the boys shirtless on practices so I got used to it. He was surprised when he saw me. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Don't you have other clothes? That's too sexy." He was saying that with a lewd look on his face. I just shook my head and told him it was the only pair I've got. So he took a towel and wrapped it around my waist. He then took another towel and wrapped it around my shoulders. "I don't want you walking around like that and let other people stare at you," he said. I just let out a soft chuckle. I should've just worn my casual clothes if I wasn't going to swim anyway. But he let me in the water when the people were just a few then.</p><p>After finishing the rest of the food. We sat at the shore letting the waves wash our feet. The sky was an ombre of orange and yellow when we were alone on the beach. Although a towel still hung on my shoulder to keep my chest from being exposed. </p><p>Maybe it was the sunset or the sea or was it because of the comforting silence that we had that I had to ask him. "Are you happy Sugawara? Like, right now?" I looked at him but he just continued on staring at the sinking sun. "I'm so happy I couldn't ask for more.," he answered. I just nodded and started scribbling on the sand. And then he asked me," How about you? Are you happy now?" After drawing a little heart on the sand, I looked up to him, my eyes teary, "I'm happy too. I would've asked for more but if you're happy then its fine with me." And we left it at that.</p><p>We packed up right after and headed home.</p><p>---</p><p>SHimizu Kiyoko &lt;3 Sugawara Koushi <br/>  -But the waves washed it away but exchanged it with a shell formed in a heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. June 13, 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>flowers</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyok [12:51]</p><p> </p><p>Today I asked Suga if he could come with me to my grandmother's place to help her with some chores. Also because I miss her already so I just thought that today is the perfect day to visit her.</p><p>When we got there, my uncle met us on the way to their house. He helped us carry our baggage since I decided to spend the night here. I didn't ask for Suga to spend the night here as well but he insisted. We helped grandma harvest strawberries at her backyard. Then, we went to take over her florist shop since she had a date with her old friend. Fun things happened then. Well you know, the typical water fight while watering the plants and a dirty soil fight when we were trying to replace the pots of the adult plants. Then the snails. </p><p>While I was getting a bucket of soil at the back of the shop, I saw a bunch of snails crawling on the ground so I took them in the shop. I brought five with me and I placed them on the counter. Suga and I made bets on who would win the race first. We even painted their shells so we can distinguish who is who. If I won, he'll do anything I'll say in the future. (I decided to not do the dare yet). If he won, I'll have to spend a night with him. He meant having an all-nighter just talking about random stuffs. I didn't know  what he was really planning to do with the dare. I couldn't even let him finish because I had to attend to a customer who wants to buy a bouquet of different flowers. </p><p>He cheated of course. He placed a snail past the finishing line. Cheating is definitely not accepted so basically, I won the game.</p><p>He bugged me on what was the dare I was thinking of but I just ignored him.</p><p>It was past 8 when we closed the shop. Grandma had gone home without stopping by the shop but we let her be. We went back to the house as it was too dark to be roaming around tonight.</p><p>After taking a bath. we went to the backyard and sat there for a while. I was drying his hair with a towel when I heard him sigh. "What's wrong?" I asked him then but he just shook his head. "What time is it?" he asked. "Its 11:02 (pm)," I responded. He sighed again. So I sat in front of him, cupped his cheeks and asked him once more, "what's wrong?" He looked at me straight in the eyes as if he was looking for something. "You forgot." He frowned and I just giggled. "How could I?" So I went to get the small envelope. I sat in front of him again, handed him the envelope and smiled. "Its time for bed. Let's go." I kissed him on the cheek and brisk walked to my room.</p><p>I hope he likes it. I can't really think of a proper gift to give him so I jut wrote him a letter.</p><p>He slept in the same room with my uncle while I'm here in my room with all the old toys I had when I was little. </p><p>I'm really thankful that they didn't mention anything to him yet. They told me that I should be the one to tell him. They also told me that I should tell it sooner or later. Nobody wants to get things worse than it is. Well, neither do I.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Kiyoko's letter to Sugawara</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>June 13: Happy Suga Day!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My lovely Koushi,</p><p>When you asked me if I could be your first girlfriend and you as my first boyfriend, I was delighted. I'm so thankful you asked me that day. If it weren't for you, my life would have been dull and boring. You make me laugh and smile. You make my heart beat race everytime you get close to me. I know its cheesy but the butterflies inside me go crazy when I see you smile.</p><p>Everyday I think, "what if I rejected you?" Honestly, I can't really think of an outcome. Its like we were really destined to be together. Maybe, Aphrodite thought we were cute together so she wrote our names in this big circle on her book. Circle you ask? A heart has its end points while a circle doesn't. When you draw a circle over and over, it doesn't really end right? That's how my love is for you. It goes around in circles and it doesn't really end.</p><p>Happy Birthday love! You're a year older now hehe! Life has been tough for the both of us It'll be tougher some time in the future but just know that I'll always love you whatever happens. I'll always be in your heart and I will never leave.  Don't worry, you own a spot in mine too! And you are never allowed to leave as well. I've thrown the key somewhere deep in the ocean and you'll never be able to escape. </p><p>I just wish you the best always. I wish you good health and a happy life. Love, you are a part of my life and will always be. You've overcome a lot of obstacles in life and soon you will face new ones. I know you'll do your best to finish these challenges in life to continue on your journey. I'll be here cheering for you always. And when that time comes, just smile love. Don't cry. I hate seeing you cry because of sadness. Smile love, and think that I'm living inside your heart as if it was my home. I'll be sitting comfy in your heart, cheering for you so you can do your best to finish a difficult challenge that you might face. </p><p>You're probably sad because you thought I've forgotten our birthday. Why would I? Its the special day of my beloved so how could I forget? I was just waiting for the right time to give this to you. Smile now love.</p><p>Happy Birthday Love!</p><p>Oh and we have a date tomorrow so be prepared. And its a surprise!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. July 26, 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i go to this certain eatery before i go him and buy pastry and street foods from them before i go him hehe<br/>their windows ar3e quite big and its always open so when i stay there to eat it becomes really really cold. oh and friend stays at the house above that eatery hehe and the owners are really really nice:)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [1:33 am]</p><p>We actually planned on going to our usual tree and read books there but it suddenly poured. So we ran to the nearest eatery and stayed there for the rest of the day. Thankfully, the owner didn't mind.</p><p>As always, I brought the travel bag with me, full of books that we recently bought. It became a habit now. We buy books together and we don't actually read them right away. We plan a certain day and a certain place to meet so we could read the books together. He falls asleep most of the time so I end up telling him the summary of the books later. But today was different... I guess?</p><p>We ordered barbecue and hot choco for the both of us. The eatery had big windows so it was really chilly. So he sat beside me so he could cuddle me and protect me from the cold breeze. He placed his jacket on my shoulders to keep me warm. But now, he's the one who's cold. I was about to give him back his jacket when a little kid (son of the owner of the eatery) appeared wearing an over sized sweatshirt that it made him look really small. "Here." The little boy handed us a folded blanket made out of cotton and its kinda thick. I was about to decline his offer when he threw it to Koushi's face and ran. I guess the kid knew we were going to decline his offer.</p><p>So we wrapped ourselves in the cozy blanket, feeling warm and cozy now.</p><p>I can't really remember how much books I read before I fell asleep. Maybe 3? Or 4? I guess its 4 books. My eyes were really heavy so I had to close it. I was half-asleep so I heard everything. </p><p>The owner fetched a small pillow from their house and Koushi gently placed it under my head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. August 17, 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [11:13 am]</p><p>Its been a while now since I last met Suga. Ever since that day, the headaches occurred more often than usual so I had to stay in the hospital for a week. Unfortunately, Tsukishima saw me. It was supposed to be kept a secret from everyone until I was ready to tell them. Its a good thing he agreed to keep it a secret.</p><p>He stayed in my room for a while, while he was waiting for his grandma's check up to be done. </p><p>"Uhm... You okay?" It as clear that he was awkward and he really didn't know what to say. "I'm fine thank you. Please don't tell this to anyone." I can't really remember how many times I've said that but I just kept on saying it. "I already told you that I won't. But shouldn't you be telling this to Suga already? You know how things work when important things are kept for a secret for a long time," he said.</p><p>I want to but I can't. I just don't want to see the sad look on Suga's face once he knew my illness. I hate seeing him frown. </p><p>"I will... Actually, I don't know how." I fidgeted my fingers then. "Just tell him.  You don't have to complicate things as it is now," he said. I guess he's right. Suga's worried about me right now and I couldn't even tell him the truth. I'm already hurting him.</p><p>A few minutes later, Tsukishima went home and reminded me to tell Suga sooner or later. I stared at the window watching the patients and some people walk by. Everybody were smiling but I know deep inside, they're hurting too. They continued to smile as they were pushing their loved ones on a wheel chair. I don't want to see Suga like that. I don't want him on the side of the hospital bed, watching me with tired eyes and smiling as if its alright. No, I don't want that. I guess its better if I end things with Suga now.</p><p>I don't want to but I have to. He needs to be prepared for the future. I need him to be strong without me. I want him to be happy even if I'm not there for him.</p><p>I'm sorry Suga. I love you so much.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. September 19, 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>// slight nsfw</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [4:33am]</p><p>We went on an overnight camping trip. Just the two of us. I was planning to tell him everything tonight but I don't really know what happened. </p><p>We borrowed coach Ukai's mini van and he gladly agreed. Suga brought the camping equipments as I was assigned to bring the food, pillows and blankets. I brought extra jackets too just in case it gets cold. I slept on the whole ride to the camping site. I wasn't actually feeling well but I wanted to be with him so I had to endure the headaches and dizziness. Once we got to the site, we immediately set up the tent on a nice spot beside a big tree. There were other campers too, some were families hanging out with their kids. Others were a group of friends hanging out and couples trying to spend the night here as well. It wasn't crowded too.</p><p>They say the view of the sunset in this site is very beautiful so we chose this place to spend the night. Suga was busy fixing our small bonfire when the sky turned into an ombre of red and orange, the sun slowly going down. "Suga, why don't you rest for a while?" I dragged him to our seats and sat down, watching the sun set.</p><p>"Beautiful isn't it?" I asked him and he immediately said yes. I turned to look at him but he wasn't looking at the sunset. He was looking at me. "Why are you looking at me?' I titled my head in confusion. "The sunset is making you glow so much. You look like an angel. Well you are an angel but- you get my point hehe!" I turned away trying to hide my now red face. He let out a soft giggle and stood up to continue his work on the bonfire.</p><p>I sat there for a while, staring at the setting sun. I hugged my knees tight, scared of what to say to him. What'll happen after I tell him? I don't know....</p><p>I cooked some food for us to eat and then we talked about a few things while staring at the night sky. Our topic was- marriage.</p><p>We helped each other fix the mess and hide the equipment and then we prepared for bed. I was trying to fix the lamp on top of the tent but I slipped and I ended up on top of Suga. My face went red, like really red and I wanted to get off him but he held onto me, tight. "Stay. Your body feels warm," he whispered.</p><p>Guess what happened next? Of course we kissed. </p><p>He sat up, while I'm still on top of him and he continued kissing me. I was about to remove my jacket but he stopped me. "No, we'll do this when we get married," he said.</p><p>Marriage huh?</p><p>He turned off the lamp and then he pulled me in for a hug. He wrapped the blankets around us and squeezed me tighter to him.</p><p>"Suga? I asked him. "Hmm?" <br/>"Do you really want to marry me?" His brows furrowed in confusion. "Of course I do. Why? What's wrong?"  I buried my face on his chest. </p><p>"What if- What if I don't?"</p><p>It sounded rude and it sounded like I didn't want to be with him. I do but, I can't.</p><p>He was silent for a while but he answered me anyway. "its too early for marriage anyway. We'll get there. And then maybe, you'll agree to marry me too," he said.</p><p>He closed his eyes and then a few minutes later, he fell asleep. I hugged him tight then, letting my tears fall free down on my cheeks.</p><p>I love you.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. October 31, 2021</h2></a>
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    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [3:27 pm]</p><p>I miss him. I miss him so much. The last time we met was when we went camping. I.... I didn't tell him. I couldn't. I didn't even had the chance to make up an excuse to cover up my disappearance.</p><p>Its for the best anyways. </p><p>I started writing every moment I had with you so I won't forget. I had to write everything so I won't forget you. I don't want to forget you. But these days, when I read what I've written, and try to remember you, my head just aches more. I'm sorry for forgetting. I'm so sorry I couldn't be with you a bit more. I'm so sorry that I had to leave you like this. I love you Suga. I love you so much. My heart will never forget you. I'll come back for you. I'm gonna be with you again. Healthier and happier. We're gonna get married and have lots of kids. </p><p>I love you so much.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. November 28, 2021</h2></a>
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    <p>Shimizu Kiyoko [3:45 am]</p><p>He came. </p><p>Tsukishima saw me wandering around the hospital and I suddenly fainted that he had to rush me back to my room. "You're to weak to even move," he said. 'Why are you walking around by yourself?" he continued. "I wanted fresh air and I got impatient so I went out by myself." He just shook his head. He placed me on the bed gently. "Stay there. I just need to go buy some drinks," he said. I fell asleep and when I woke up, he was standing there, holding the bag of drinks Tsukishima was supposed to bring. </p><p>He was teary-eyed but he smiled anyway. "H-hey," he said.</p><p>There were only a few fragments of him on my mind. I was feeling really guilty that I couldn't remember most of our memories together.</p><p>I smiled anyway.</p><p>We talked for what seemed like just a few minutes, catching up to what happened to the others in school and what happened to him too. Its a good thing that he never asked how I was doing. I don't really have an answer to that.</p><p>What am I supposed to tell him? That I drink an amount of pills just to keep me alive? No. That's not right. I'm guessing he knew that too that's why he didn't ask anything. </p><p>It was past 1:30 am when we both noticed that it was dark outside. I asked him to go home but he stayed. </p><p>He's sleeping on the couch. My mother brought him a big comfy blanket and pillows too. </p><p>He's sleeping on the couch, his back facing me.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. December 16, 2021</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>she's slowly forgetting</p>
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    <p>Sugawara Koushi</p><p>Her memories are fading. She gets scared more often now because she doesn't recognize the people entering her room, including me. Although I try to be with her as often as I can as well. I run to the hospital immediately after classes and after training. I make sure to bring fruits and a lot of food before I enter her room. </p><p> </p><p>The first time she forgot me, I cried so hard in front of her. I couldn't help it. That day, I opened the door, called out her name wearing my biggest smile ever because I just got her favorite book signed by her favorite author. But then she asked me, "Who are you?!" Her tone sounded like she was scared. She got scared of me. I dropped on my knees then, and I started crying. When I looked up to see her, she was already kneeling in front of me.... and she was crying as well. "I'm sorry," she whispered. I wanted to ask her why she was sorry but I was too shocked to even move or talk. She pulled me in for a hug and kept caressing my back. "I'm sorry I don't remember you." Suddenly she was crying harder than I was. "Please don't cry. It hurts me so stop crying," she kept saying. "I'm sorry. I'll try to remember you when I can okay? Stop crying please," as she said those words, my tears fell down like a waterfall. But I didn't want to exhaust her too so I raised my head and told her, "It's okay if you don't remember me. It's okay if you forget my name. Its fine. Just let me be with you. I'll be fine. All your memories are safe with me, so its okay if you forget them. I'll cherish them for you." Right after that, she fell asleep on my arms (we were still sitting on the floor when she fell asleep), so I carried her to the bed so she can rest. </p><p> </p><p>"Uhm... Can we go out?" she asked me. "Sure. Where to?" I then started to prepare her wheelchair. "I want to walk in the garden." I stopped and glared at her. She was just smiling, trying to convince me with her eye smile. I just sighed. "You can walk when we get there. Sit here until the wheel touches the grass in the garden."   "Thank you uhhh-"   "You're welcome."  </p><p>"W-what was your name again?" she asked but I just shook my head. "Don't exhaust yourself too much." I carried her to the wheelchair and gently placed her there. I wrapped a small blanket around her and then we went to the garden.</p><p>I sat on the bench as I watched her play with the flowers and butterflies in the garden. I wanted to stay by her side as she roamed around the garden but I was just too tired and my eyes felt really heavy. If I just close my eyes for a minute-</p><p> </p><p>"Suga? Uhh... Koushi? Wake up!" I woke up to Kiyoko trying to shake me. "Why? What? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I bombarded her with questions. She just giggled and shook her head. I sighed in relief. "I made you a crown!" Her tone was like that of a child. She took the crown from her back and showed it to me. "A-are you sure you're allowed to pick the flowers?" She nodded. "The nurse told me to enjoy myself and so I made you this beautiful crown!" She placed the crown on top of my head. She took me by surprise when she kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry! I just- my body just- it just moved on its own." I just smiled. </p><p>"Can I kiss you too?" Why the fuck did I just say that?! Now she's gonna get weirded out by me and ignore me and get scared and- </p><p>"O-on the lips?" She was staring at her fingers when she said so. </p><p>What's with Kiyoko today???? She's too cute?!!?!?!?!??!</p><p>"I-I guess you're tired we should just head back to your room and-" </p><p>She kissed me. On the lips. Not a peck. A kiss.</p><p>"Your lips are really soft," she said. "Why so sudden..." <br/>"There's this couple just a few steps next to my room. The guy would always cry eveytime he leaves the room but then one day I saw the lady kiss the guy and so he stopped crying." All I said was "Oh." </p><p>"Stop crying okay? I-if you're sad you can just come to me and hug me or kiss me-hmph!" </p><p>I kissed her.</p><p>"Why? Are you sad right now?" I shook my head. "Nope. I'm just so happy."</p><p>"Why?" she asked. "Because you're here."</p>
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